Surviving After Survival

Waiting for a verdict? It’s the worst kind of purgatory. You’re stuck in limbo, caught between hope and dread, with every second stretched out like an eternity. And if you think it’s just the jury locked away hashing it out, think again. Karen Read and the victim’s family are living this hell on repeat. Let’s start with Karen. Imagine her life right now — no matter what you think about the case, this woman’s existence is on pause. The spotlight is unforgiving. Every text, every call, every glance at the news must feel like a punch to the gut. She’s probably cycling through every possible outcome in her head, rehearsing what-ifs and maybes, all while trying not to lose it completely. Waiting is torture because it gives your mind too much room to roam. Then there’s the family of the victim, the people who have already lost so much. For them, this isn’t just a trial — it’s a reopening of wounds that might never properly heal. Every juror’s question, every delay, is another twist in a stor...

  A blog about surviving, growing, and getting justice on your own terms — with mud on your boots and a brew in hand. After the abuse. After the betrayals. After the traumatising trial. I didn’t find peace in a counsellor’s office. I didn’t find it at the bottom of a bottle. I didn’t even find it in the justice system that promised to protect me. No, I found it in a bag of compost, a battered trowel, and a patch of lawn I watered with my tears — tears that had been held down and buried for over a year. I didn’t plan on turning into some kind of village gardening granny. I wasn’t searching for zen or mindfulness. I was just a woman who needed something to do — something to dig, something to nurture, and something to smash into the dirt instead of smashing up my own headspace. So, I went outside and got stuck in. Digging through it At first, it wasn’t spiritual or Instagram-worthy. It was survival. My hands shook with fury. My chest felt like it was full of b...

  Unlearning the Lies: The Dangerous Habit of Victim Blaming Opinion "Why didn’t she leave?" It’s a question that sits on the tip of the tongue like concern but make no mistake — it’s an accusation dressed in curiosity. It’s the starting point of an all-too-familiar interrogation that turns a survivor into a suspect in their own trauma. Victim blaming isn’t just a toxic cultural reflex — it’s a systemic rot embedded in our institutions, courtrooms, and conversations. And its long past time we unlearned the lies we’ve been fed about what it means to survive abuse. The Cost of Blame In the UK, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime (Office for National Statistics, 2023). Every year, over 2.4 million adults are subjected to it — yet only a fraction will report it. Why? Because the minute they do, the spotlight shifts from the perpetrator to their own perceived failings. It’s not an abstract fear. The 2021 report from HM Inspec...